Very Important Question (it involves cookies):

⚠️Story Time⚠️⁠

9:15am: ‘MOMMM can we make cookies?’⁠

Honestly, this is a question I used to dread, because the amount of physical and mental fortitude it would take to resist eating half the batch in one day was astronomical. ⁠

And I was only successful a fraction of the time. ⁠

Further, my definition of success was actually anything but. And regardless of the outcome, the emotional toll in the aftermath felt insurmountable, sometimes for days. ⁠

Which never resulted in anything resembling success.⁠

Fearing the inevitable, I came up with all sorts of strategies to avoid succumbing to my Cookie Monster tendencies. ⁠

Freezing them, donating them, allowing my kids unmanaged portions of raw dough, just to make the batch smaller. ⁠

Because once they were all baked up, there was no where for them to go except in my mouth. Or the trash. ⁠

There was no off ramp on that highway for me.⁠

Rock bottom was when my wide-eyed daughter saw me pitch them and was so hurt, that right then and there, I vowed never to pull that parachute again.⁠

2:45: ‘MOMMM are the cookies done?’⁠

(I mean really. Who forgets that cookies are being baked?)⁠

Actually I did.⁠

I took them out of the oven of course, but the kids were outside and I continued to work from the island countertop, just steps away for the next 5 hours, not once being distracted by them.⁠

I smiled to myself knowing how great it will be to have a couple this afternoon or tomorrow with the girls; but then felt a twinge of pain.⁠

It never stops being heartbreaking that there was a time when I literally destroyed a shared experience, in defense of my own insecurities.⁠

There has been quite a journey from white-knuckling abstainer to a most-of-the-time moderator.

It started with one affirmation: ⁠

‘No food can harm me more than it can serve me’ ⁠

Then slowly and imperfectly, I started to pump the breaks. ⁠

And that affirmation is what this story is about.⁠

*

Thanks for reading this peek into part of the next recipe book I release.


In the past year I have discovered so much that nourishes me beyond food, but I wonder…⁠do narratives alongside recipes interest you? Please tell me!


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