It sucks. But also: I am grateful.


In the last 72 hours here’s what’s gone down at my house:⠀

We’ve dyed our hair!⠀

We’ve permanently stained our sinks.⠀

We’ve made 2 dozen cookies!⠀

We’ve eaten 2 dozen cookies.⠀

We’ve sat as a family for multiple meals a day!⠀

We’ve (I’ve) realized just how dang much these kids need to eat. Jeez.⠀

We’ve figured out how to log in to our classrooms!⠀

We’ve cried doing homework.⠀

We’ve found ways to monitor and maintain the health of employees at our small business…for now. ⠀

We’ve stressed about closing the doors and the implications for us, our staff and their families.⠀

The highs and the lows have been barreling down on all of us like a hurricane that just won’t budge. ⠀

Today was my most difficult day yet. I craved things my body hasn’t desired in years. ⠀

This is both the hardest thing we’ve ever done yet simultaneously ‘not that bad’ because we are fortunate AF to have our health and live in a safe, warm, protected space.⠀

This sucks but also I’m so grateful. ⠀

We live in a culture that looks to comfort food and alcohol as acceptable tools for coping. Especially for moms.⠀

While I think these pleasures contribute to life in meaningful ways, I also believe figuring out how to enjoy them in moderation and not in an effort to numb our feelings, is more relevant than ever. ⠀

I am choosing to redefine my measurement for success (The bar has never been lower#itsfine)⠀

I am triaging my life and only making room for what really matters (Maintenance is progress)⠀

I am trying my hardest to manage my emotions in ways that do not include numbing behaviors. (Walking, reading, PRACTICING SMILING - for real, try it, you’ll laugh)⠀

I am bracing myself for the possibility that these efforts are likely going to require endurance.⠀

If it turns out that life as we currently know it is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, I cannot make cookies every day. I cannot drink a bottle of wine every night. ⠀

Finding healthy ways to cope, even if this is just for another few weeks is a requirement. ⠀

Let’s all help each other. Please, share something you’re doing to manage right now. ⠀

I’ll start: writing. Writing gives me air.

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