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How do you want to feel?

Have you ever been asked about your WHY, only to think…’I have no earthly clue.’⠀

It took me years to recognize the underlying push that’s driven me. And this is NOT one I am sharing because I’m proud, but it needs to be said.⠀

Proceed with caution, train-wreck level honesty about to be revealed here: ⠀

All my life, I’ve never really felt good enough at baseline (who I am without ‘trying’); and without accomplishments and top tier execution I wasn’t worthy of love. ⠀

Run out of reasons to be recognized, run out of love.⠀

I warned you, and now you probably can’t look away.⠀

Pretty backwards WHY, right?⠀

It became my identity to self-deprecatingly under-promise (after all at my core I was just a frumpy mom, mediocre wife, basic cook, average intelligence) and pray I could over-deliver, fooling everyone around me until oh, say…I was dead.⠀

That was my winning formula for love. And it sure was driving me. But I cringe at how it was depleting me.⠀

The cost of creating this ‘2.0’ version of myself was my intuition. ⠀

I KNOW how all that reads. And sadly, I would venture a guess that what I just threw down resonates with a surprisingly high number of women.⠀

Looking back at everything I’ve shared in this space, I never touched on this. Maybe because I felt like it was irrelevant or distracting to most of the ‘rah-rah’ posts I was unknowingly establishing as my ‘identity’ here.⠀

Treacherous behavior in hindsight, as I’ve worked so hard to separate myself from that.⠀

If your actions are driven by vanity metrics, I ask…are you pursing them because you love yourself? If yes, to that I emphatically reply ‘Carry On!!’⠀

Or…are you chasing something you believe to be a conduit for love?⠀

If your WHY has anything to do with how you are perceived by the people in your orbit, I urge you to look further inward.⠀

Who you are is exactly who the world needs you to be. ⠀

How your life feels is more important than how it looks.⠀

Learn the difference between your intuition guiding you and your trauma misleading you.⠀

And if you’re like me, maybe your current situation is giving you an opportunity to reevaluate what you want.

What do you want?👇

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