Guess in which photo I was unhappiest?


Guess which photo I was unhappiest in?⠀

For many, your eyes will go right to 2017 when I am clearly the heaviest. And admittedly, that was a less comfortable place to be. I had fallen off the ‘macros wagon’ that year, for a reason that not enough of us consider ‘the danger zone.’ (More on that in a minute).⠀

But candidly, there was some freedom I was appreciating here too. No food rules, no boundaries, exercising solely to feel good. It was nice until it wasn’t anymore. Until I missed feeling good in my skin and wanting to be in photographs with my family. I wanted goals outside the arbitrary endurance targets OrangeTheory created for me, and insatiable hunger that always followed those workouts. I needed my own unique set of boundaries and definition of what ‘good’ looked and felt like.⠀

But truly, my most distraught place was in fall of 2016. I had been counting macros flawlessly and lost 20lbs in 12 weeks. ‘Success’ in many aspect and a tremendous learning experience. Unfortunately I learned for myself what happens when there is no nuanced approach. I was either ON or OFF. Black or white. My success was binary, and aligned with the ❌ all or nothing mindset ❌⠀

I was a ‘Macro Dieter’⠀

Who is this? ⠀

👉Someone who is rigid within the framework of macro counting ⠀

👉Someone who doesn’t consider good-better-best scenarios when approaching decisions ⠀

👉Someone who sees limits, not choices⠀

Cut to 2020 and I am in an entirely NEW and welcome phase. While I still track macros, I do it from a place of abundance and data. I love being a scientist and reflecting on how my body responds to the stimulus I provide. This is not limited to food but also training and recovery.⠀

I don’t believe we are supposed to maintain a certain body composition our entire lives. If I had to, it would feel a little like a prison to me. But I love knowing that I have the power to affect so much change, simply by collecting the data and applying it to my decision making when it comes to my goals. ⠀

So even in this recovery season, I can say with absolute certainty (in case the cozy slippers don’t give me away) that this is the HAPPIEST time in my journey.⠀

Where are you?

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