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Going Deep (part 2)

Part 2: (continued) ⁠⁠


According it my @ouraring I got exactly 9 minutes of deep sleep that night, so to say I woke up in a haze would be an understatement. ⁠⁠


Here is a list of punitive things I wanted to do when I woke up: ⁠⁠

🙈Weigh myself⁠⁠

🍽️Fast all day⁠⁠

☠️Calorie-torching workout⁠⁠

📉Build out myfitnesspal to get in a deficit⁠⁠

💔Continue to wallow in self pity⁠⁠


What I didn’t do? Gratefully, it is that same list above.⁠ Instead...⁠


I wrote. ⁠⁠

I wrote for 2 straight hours staring down all my feelings.⁠⁠

I wrote through everything I experienced in the moments before during and after my bender.⁠⁠


I talked.⁠⁠

I talked to myself.⁠⁠

I talked to my husband. ⁠⁠


I planned.⁠⁠

I planned action.⁠⁠

I planned inaction.⁠⁠


I exercised.⁠⁠

I exercised my human right to forgiveness.⁠⁠

I exercised my body to remind me of my strength.⁠⁠


I reflected.⁠⁠

I reflected on everything I have to be thankful for.⁠⁠

I reflected on opportunities I have to be a better person.⁠⁠


I fueled.⁠⁠

I fueled with water and nourishing food.⁠⁠

I fueled with hugs and love from my family and pets.⁠⁠


I forgave.⁠⁠

I forgave myself for being imperfect.⁠⁠

I forgave myself for being angry about being imperfect.⁠⁠


Swipe to see some of excerpts of my writing but please do so with measured care.⁠ THIS was such a critical first step.⁠


HOW did I determine and begin to execute which next steps were right for me? ⁠ Tomorrow I will share the *specific* actions I decided upon and *why* I chose them.⁠⁠


I can't wait to share this.⁠ Because it is where the transformative ‘magic’ (#healing) begins. Where strength collides with empowerment. ⁠Where overwhelm turns into action.⁠

Thank you for the incredible support and kindness everyone has expressed as I’ve shared this.

I know words surrounding this converstaion can be hard. If you’re still with me, can you share your thoughts with an emoji❓

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